My short Reddit story

I enjoy writing. It's why I wanted to start a blog, but I am my own harshest critic. What if no one likes what I write? How do I get these grand ideas in my head into a coherent story? The crazy nightmares I have would make Stephen King quake in his Nikes, but how do I get there?

I go on Reddit a lot, and one of the subreddits I follow is r/writingprompts. People will post a prompt for a short story. There's a lot of frequent fliers on there, so if you enjoy short stories and use Reddit, you should check it out. Anyway, there was one prompt that really caught my attention.

You and your partner bought a pair of rings that let you feel each heartbeat from anywhere in the world. Your partners dies and you bury them with the ring. Years go by and you haven't gotten over them. Out of nowhere they appear at your doorstep... still wearing the ring. But you feel no pulse.

Creepy, right? This is right in my wheelhouse, and it's easy enough to channel that energy into a story because I wonder what I would do if Jamie and I were in that situation. He's my best friend and the love of my life. What would I do if he was a no-longer-deceased person? I haven't figured out where I'm going to take the story just yet, so I don't want to use the word "zombie".

I've copied it below. So let me know what you think!

-A

Part One

Coming home from the hospital the night my husband James died, I was in a trance. The home we had built together felt like a strange, dark place without his bright energy. He was my sun and moon, and my sky was forever darkened. 25 years of marriage, over in the blink of an eye. The father of my children, the best friend I ever had, my confidant, my life partner--gone. 

Our children were all grown, but my youngest daughter Anna came to stay with me in the aftermath. I slept on the sofa. Our bed just wasn't the same without him beside me. His pillow still smelled faintly of sweat and his shampoo. It would smell like that for the next few weeks until Anna finally had enough and put it into a garbage bag and hide it in the attic. 

"Mother, you need to sleep! You haven't slept since Dad died." 

She was right, of course. My nights were restless, and it wasn't just because of the sofa. When I closed my eyes, I could still see my James's face. His blue eyes, usually full of laughter and joy, were cold and empty. His flushed complexion gone sallow. Even a month later, I couldn't get the last image of him out of my head. But I needed to try. For Anna's sake, I needed to try.


"Happy 15th anniversary, my love." 

James kissed my cheek and handed me a small square box. I carefully unwrapped the packaging and inside were two nearly identical rings. I picked them both up and held them in my palm. 

"Baby, what are these? What's wrong with the rings we have now?" I asked. 

He picked up the smaller and thinner of the two rings and slipped it on my ring finger above my wedding band. He held my fingers in his and brought them to his lips. 

"This way, we will always be together." 

I kissed him deeply. 

"We're always going to be together anyway."


The world continued to spin. Life went on. But for me, there was no living without James. The ring on my finger felt like it was made of lead without the gentle pulse of his heartbeat. But I couldn't take it off. I just couldn't. If I took it off, that meant I would have to let him go. And I wasn't ready. Not yet.

 One day, while boiling the kettle for a cup of tea, there came a knock at the door. Through the frosted glass I saw a figure. Tall, broad shoulders.

 "Who is it?"

 "Gen, I can't seem to find my keys. Can you let me in?"

 I froze. No. No. It couldn't be. After all these years. Was it possible?

 "Gen, are you in there? Hello? Honey, I can't find my keys or my phone."

 I slowly opened the door. There he was, standing before me. It seemed as though not a day had passed since I last saw him alive. Tears flooded my eyes and I collapsed to the floor in a severe anxiety attack.

 "Honey?! Oh my god, honey it's okay. Shhh, it's alright. Shhh. It's okay, baby. It's alright, I'm here," he whispered as he stroked my hair and held me to his chest. It was him! But something was...off...

 "James?" I said, wiping my eyes and trying to steady my breath. "How is this possible? How are you here? What's going on?"

 "I don't know. I woke up in front of the church, no phone, no wallet, no keys. I don't know what day it is or how I got there. What's wrong? What happened?"

 He looked worried. His blue eyes were no longer devoid of life. His chest rose and fell with each hurried breath...but he wasn't breathing. The ring on my hand was silent.

 "James...is your ring still working?"

 "Yeah, of course. It's pulsing like crazy. You need to calm down. I think I just heard the kettle. Let me make you a cup of tea and you can tell me what's bothering you."


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